Your head will collapse, if there's nothing in it

Earth Defense Force

"It's some sort of very huge bug!"

Earth Defense Force is a budget video game series that deals almost exclusively with the eradication of giant insects by the increasingly bewilderingly equipped soldiers of the eponymous Earth Defense Force.

That's it.

You steer your small (in relative terms) character around a basic simulacrum of a city and have them shoot at hordes of bugs until they've all been (somewhat unconvincingly) splattered.

In some ways that description might put you in mind of something like Paul Verhoven's "Starship Troopers", but you'd be wrong to set your expectations so high. While there may be similarities between the game's voice acting and Casper Van Dien's astonishing performance, the gulf between the two remains colossal (though it's significantly narrower between any of the movie's sequels).

The glaring difference between the two is the series' incredibly low production values: the graphics are dated, the mechanics are basic, the character designs are sexist, and the quality & presentation of the writing is exceptionally poor. It pretty much crumbles in every category you could possibly hold to a standard.

Except one.

Like "Starship Troopers" it's ridiculous fun. Absolutely frantic, exceedingly daft, undeniably shonky, fun. It's rupturing a charging ant army, blasting web-slinging bouncy spiders, exploding dangerously wobbly robots, fun. All of the ingredients that make it terrible are also the things that make it great. It's a B-game that'd go toe-to-toe with the cultiest of culty B-movies. So bad, it's fantastic.

If you aren't familiar with it I suggest you immediately rectify that situation.


Rating: ANTS

Ants! Ants! Ants! Ants! Annnnnnnnts! ANTS!

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